"Sometimes we try and take a cute picture together, and I ruin it because I can never be serious when it comes to him."
To say Hayden was a mess of emotions was easily an understatement. His mind was a clouded mess which only added to the mixture of various different emotions he was currently feeling. “It’s not just my fault that we’re so fucking complicated. You make ‘us’ just as hard to work out as I do.” Shifting his weight from either foot, Hayden could barely bring himself to look at Maria right now. The anger, confusion and hurt molded into one as the words continued to be exchanged. “We both know there’s a ‘we’. No matter how many times I tried to deny it, there’s always been a fucking us. Everything we’ve been through has lead to this moment because there’s an us.” It was almost as if the roles had been switched. Hayden was now the one fighting for whatever it was the pair were classified as compared to Maria who was slowly but surely giving up. The sandy-haired boy shook his head, completely disregarding Maria’s comment about him not falling for someone like her. Before he had the chance to reply, Maria was walking in the other direction. Hayden shifted his glance around, noticing the prying eyes that were firmly fixed on the two of them. Without a second thought, Hayden chased after Maria —— Something he should’ve done the first time she’d left. Catching her fingers with his, Hayden turned Maria around so they were now face-to-face. Within one swift movement, he leaned down slightly and pressed his lips to hers. The sparks instantly returned to the pit of his stomach as he pulled back slightly, resting his forehead against hers. “We’re fucking complicated and hard and we can barely go a day without arguing. But what I have with you, whatever you wanna call it —— I don’t want it with anyone else. We’re not something, but we’re sure as hell not nothing either.” His eyes locked with hers, hoping she’d recognize the sincerity in his tone
Letting a sigh escape her lips, Maria wanted nothing more than to turn back around and run back into the arms of the boy she was slowly yet surely falling head over heels in love with. Standing her ground, she continued walking in the other direction only to soon feel fingers intertwining with hers — she instantly felt a spark knowing that it was Hayden who was pulling her back. This was what she wanted all along, she just wanted him to chase after her and tell her that he didn’t want her to go. A year ago, this is what she wanted to happen but she knew that she was the one he let get away. Squeezing onto his hand she made her way closer to him — getting so close that not even a piece of paper could fit between the two. Suddenly feeling his lips press down against hers, she instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck pulling his face closer to hers. Feeling his lips pull back from hers, she couldn’t help but smile. “Whatever this thing is Hayden, all I know is that I want to do it with you. Only you, I just — seeing you flirt with that girl back in the restaurant literally broke my heart. I don’t want to be the girl who has to share the guy anymore. I don’t want you to be with anyone but me.” She simply murmured, looking over at him. “If that makes me selfish, then I’m one selfish bitch.” She said with a light chuckle.
For the first time, Hayden had finally confessed his true feelings towards Maria. Feelings that had left him in a state of confusion for the last week. Now that the words had finally left his lips, he couldn’t tell whether it was a wave of relief or regret that had overwhelmed his mind. “We both kno that’s not true. Nothing about us is fucking easy.” It was evident that the anger in Maria’s tone resembled the anger still stirring in the pit of his stomach. “This has nothing to do with whether I’m fucking afraid to fall for you or anyone, for that matter. I just don’t do this shit, okay? I don’t do dates or relationships or fucking love. That’s it. That’s all there is to it. There’s nothing else to blame for it or any other hidden reason behind it.” Hayden couldn’t hep but break the gaze he had with Maria once the events of that night replayed through his mind. He knew he’d made the wrong decision that night. It became clear when Maria continuously crossed his mind even weeks after. “What the fuck did you expect me to do? I couldn’t drop the relationship I was in and the life I’d created with her for someone I felt nothing towards at the time. There was never supposed to be anything between us. We both agreed to it when this,” he said, gesturing between the two, “originally started. My decision shouldn’t have been a fucking shock to you.” His words were flowing out of his mouth quicker than he could comprehend and it was clear that his impulsive nature was shining through. “Oh for fucks sake, I’m sorry, okay? I don’t know what else you want me to fucking say.” His jaw clenched as her words echoed through his ears. “Don’t —— Don’t you fucking dare compare me to him. You know I would never intentionally hurt you the way he did. You know that. I’m sorry I ruined your night. I’m sorry I broke your heart again. I’m fucking sorry,” he confessed, throwing his hands up.
Maria’s anger turned to hurt the instant the boy had mentioned whatever this ‘thing’ was going on between them being nothing but hard. Feeling a lump form in her throat, she let a sigh escape her lips. “Nothing about us is easy? Of course it isn’t. Because you’re too fucking stubborn to allow yourself to feel something.” She snapped, running her fingers through her brunette locks. Every word that came from his mouth only either made her more upset or angrier than she already was. “Alright that’s it. So why are we even trying? Well I guess we weren’t trying because there is no we.” She said softly, hurting at her own words. The more the two continued to bring up the night she ended things, the more she was starting to realize how right he was. “You’re right, I shouldn’t have been selfish enough to think that maybe, just fucking maybe that you would have felt something too. God was I mistaken to think that you’d fall for some girl like me.” She spat, turning her attention away from him. “It was a shock to me, it broke my heart because I fell for you Hayden. I tried not to — but it happened. And I’m sorry that it happened. I’m sorry that I’m the reason why you had to end your life with her I’m so fucking sorry.” She yelled, softly as she started to notice the people staring at the pair. “Yeah well, sometimes sorry isn’t enough to fix what’s been broken!” Maria sighed, running her fingers through her hair as she soon felt tears forming in her eyes. “I wasn’t saying that you were going to hurt me in that way, I was simply stating that this is something he would have done to me too.” She said, shaking her head as she threw her hands up in the air. “I can’t do this, I can’t do this anymore.” She said referring to whatever was going on between the two. Letting a whimper escape her lips she turned on her heel as she felt a tear stroll down her cheek. “I think it’s best, if I just leave.” She said softly before walking in the other direction.
An almost inaudible groan fell from his lips as Maria repositioned herself in front of the boy. It was clear through the simple action and body language that Maria was holding that this wasn’t as minor as Hayden had hoped. It was evident that his careless action had quickly placed him back in her bad books. If Hayden was expecting to get out of them again, it wouldn’t be as easier said than done. “You don’t mean shit to me? That’s fucking bullshit and you know, Maria. If you didn’t mean shit to me, we sure as hell wouldn’t be here right now. Fuck, you walking out a few months ago would’ve been the last time I thought about you if you didn’t mean shit to me.” Anger stirred in the pit of his stomach as he eyed the petite brunette in front of him. “We do have something, Maria. The way I feel about you, isn’t just lust any more, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? I know that I feel something for you, far more than I ever did before. You of all fucking people should know that I don’t do this. I don’t do relationships or taking people on dates. But I did, I did for you.” Hayden raised an eyebrow as Maria mentioned the guy she’d left for him. Standing up from the bench, Hayden closed the gap between their bodies. “You know I’d treat you a hell of a lot better than he fucking did.”
Letting an audible sigh escape her lips, Maria couldn’t help but feel a little spark form in the pit of her stomach as the boy in front of her started talking about his true feelings. Biting down on her lip, she looked down at him and then back up before saying anything else. “You know what, this would have been a hell of a lot easier if you didn’t go and hit on that fucking slut!” She spat, the image refusing to leave her head. “Jesus, I know you don’t do things like this because you’re afraid of feeling something. I don’t know why but I know for a fact that you’re afraid of letting yourself fall for someone like me.” She said, her voice starting to tremble as he brought up the night she left. “I gave you a choice that night Hayden, and you shut me down. How else was I supposed to react? Did you want me to just be all fine and dandy and just got back to helping you cheat on your girlfriend? Is that what you wanted me to do?” She said throwing her hands up in the air. “You did it for me? You brought me out here and then you fucking flirt with that blonde bimbo and claim that you did this for me? You have got to be kidding me Hayden.” She spat as she felt his body brush against hers. “Really? Because right now you’re doing something that he would have done to me too.” She murmured softly, still angry. “All I wanted from you, was too have a good night and to just talk and have a few laughs. But you ruined that. You ruined my night Hayden. I don’t know if I can even trust you now.. That’s what hurts the most. I trusted you with my heart, and you broke it.” She said hurt showing through her words.
Hayden’s eyes remained locked on the brunette’s petite figured. The expression that graced her features said it all and was enough to send a wave of guilt throughout his body. His mocha hues averted to menu in front of him, not daring to make eye contact with either Maria or the blonde towering over the table. It wasn’t long, however, until he spotted the petite figure dash behind him from the corner of his eye. Hayden was well aware that her sudden departure had to do with him and the careless flirting that had occurred between himself and their waitress. Without a single word or even one last glance towards the blonde, Hayden followed Maria. Hastily mazing through the tables and people occupying the restaurant, Hayden exited the restaurant — Not bothering to apologise to those he’d ran into in the process. As the cool breeze hit his bare skin, Hayden’s eyes scanned his newly-found surroundings before landing on the brunette. As her quiet mumbles caught his attention, Hayden hesitated — Debating whether or not it’d be safer to give her some space. “Not in a salad mood any more, huh?” His words left his lips in a light-hearted tone. Going completely against his instincts, Hayden took a seat beside her and eyed her cautiously.
There were so many things that Maria wanted to say to the boy who had just carelessly flirted with another girl while he was with Maria. Letting a sigh escape her lips, the girl looked around at her surroundings before noticing Hayden himself coming nearer to the place where she was sitting. Feeling his body draw closer to hers, she didn’t even hesitate before she pushed herself from the bench and stood up. “No, really Hayden I’m not in the mood for any of the damn salad!” She snapped, running her hands through her hair. “So how about you go back to flirting with that blonde bimbo and leave me be? Because it sure as hell looks like I don’t mean shit to you.” She said, shaking her head as she looked down at her feet trying to hold back the tears that were fighting so hard to come out. “I really thought we had something, you know? I really felt a spark with you, and you just ruined it. You ruined all the hope that I was actually getting back. That night I left you, I did it because frankly, I knew you didn’t love me. So why am I still here?” She chuckled lightly running her shakey fingers through her hair once again. “I never should have come with you, I should have stayed with him. For a second Hayden, I thought that maybe just maybe.. you felt what I felt too. But boy was I wrong.” She said with a slight smile.